Big Sunday Blog

12:36 – Just woke up. Already pissed. Tried to wake up at 11Am, so I could go to my free picks website, and get the top 5 free NFL picks of the day. Now, 80% of the games have already started, and the only pick on the entire top 10 I can take is…the Raiders and the UNDER. Sleeping 25 minutes too long means the only money I have in play today is on the fucking Raiders. What a disaster.

Raiders -3 and UNDER 36. Jesus. Guarantee, I’m going to be seeing Art Shell’s blank stare in my sleep when the lose by 14 and the total is 50.

12:55 - Here's another thing that makes me really uncomfortable. My top scorer today is a former Iowa Hawkeye. Luckily, he's a former Hawkeye that we beat 4 times in a row, so he knows the Truth, but still...if a Hawk leads me to victory today, I might have to throw it back like a home run at Wrigley, while puking in my mouth from the Hawk stench.


1:01 - This one comes in from loyal reader Jared Macke in Bellevegas, IL:

"4th and goal on the 1...and Rackers doesn't kick a Field Goal?!?!? Are you fucking kidding me!!"

This illustrates a good point. Playing fantasy is torture. Its alot like being in a relationship. When you're in one, a big part of you is always like...god, life would be so much more fun if I didn't have this commitment. And when you're out of one, you're usually just like.....goood.............I want to get some. Like, when you're not in a fantasy league you sit there watching football drinking your sad looking Mich Light thinking "man...this could really be exciting if I had a reason to cheer for meaningless TDs." And when you're in a fantasy league, you're constantly watching games going "Man, I could actually enjoy this game if I could just watch it instead of wishing for meaningless TDs."

1:04 - Let's remind ourselves exactly whats at stake in the Justice League today:

I need to either win, or Corey needs to lose, or if I lose and he wins, I need to not let him outscore me by 39. This shouldn't be that hard, and it doesn't really matter that much. There are no byes involved, the big difference is playing Stojak in the semis or the finals.

The fight for the D1 playoff spots are like this:
Eddie ---
Sam -1
Mark -19
Matty -39
Jared -54

Two will get in. Its going to be intense, and the reward for the last wild card spot is probably going to be beating me in the first round.

1:08 - I'm down 4 in a big money pick 'em league with just 5 NFL weeks to play. I am at a point where I need to start picking some underdogs to give myself a chance to get within a point or two by the last week, because 2nd place does me absolutely no good. My big upset this week is Cleveland over Kansas City. They're only a 5 point dog, and sometimes I big winners based on which coach I think is due for a big awkward media moment after a disappointing loss...like we haven't seen any thing really good on a "We play to win the game." from Herm Edwards lately. What do you say, Herm?

1:12 - Iowa State's playing Drake in basketball today. Drake is probably the best college in Iowa, and by best college, I mean the place where you'd go for school, and not to see good basketball. Iowa State's Mike Taylor has 7 points out of our first 10. Taylor is like that really annoying video game basketball player that was always on the computer's team. Sometimes when the computer decides to do awesome, he'll just start chucking threes from like 25 feet and swishing them. Then, for no apparent reason, he'll get really confused and throw a pass to the scorer's table. 15:10 1st, 12-5 Cyclones.

1:16 - Here are the games of record in the pick 'em league for the early NFL slot:

Hartman 114 Jets SD KC Atl
Romer 112 Jets Buff KC Atl
Golden 110 Pack SD Cle Wash

Notice how Hartman is always in the majority. He's a bastard like that. Jets at Pack is already my "what the fuck was I thinking?" game of the day. The Jets D against an awful Pack O-Line? Jets no scared by snow and cold. Damn it. Could cost me the title.

1:20 - Made a big trade in my fantasy league last week. Gave up my backup TE, my backup WR and next year's 1st and 4th round picks for Tom Brady, because McNabb went down. Brady's just not that good. He's consistent, and he likely won't throw for 0 yards, but I mistakenly thought "dating Bridget Moynahan" was some kind of Big Play Bonus.

1:23 - Corey's currently beating me by 32 points, and all his big guns already have TDs: Manning to Marvin, and the Bears D. Typical. Meanwhile, Kevin Jones is peeing himself because he's beating New England, and Torry Holt is filling out his Social Security papers. Look for a big second half from those two.

1:27 - Through the first half, my three WR, Holt Driver and Roy Williams, who three weeks ago were all in the top 10 in the league, have combined for 4 points. Driver actually has negative receiving yards at half time. Is that possible? This relationship stinks.

1:28 - I have commented on this before, but Leinart's picture on FantasyCast makes me laugh every time. It was taken under one of two scenarios: the photographer told him to picture himself as Darth Vader, or it was taken moments after he found out he had ruined his amazing bachelor existence by knocking up an ugly 6 foot basketball player from USC.

1:36 - Somehow, KC just converted 4th and 4 and 2 plays later they've got 1st and goal. This is the stuff GameCast misses. Who fucked up? What was the look on the Browns faces when they were reminded they're 3-9 for a reason?

1:38 - For a second, I think to myself: Awesome, Peyton and the Bears D haven't done much lately. Hard to score from the locker room eating orange slices. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

1:40 - Torrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry HOLT! Holt's really my money player. I have him in both fantasy leagues, and I also have Jeff Wilkins, so Holt's TDs are really like 10 point plays for me usually. I also picked the Rams to win today, so pretty much my destiny is tied to a star, and that star is Torry Holt.

1:44 - KC is going to beat the Browns. Going to remain 5 back, assuming the Redskins can hold off the Falcons. But can't you just see Vick deciding to run for 100 yards in the 2nd half and them winning like 31-14?

1:49 - I may have a chance to upset Eddie in the first round of the NCSA playoffs. I've got Gates and Holt with TDs so far. This is a common response, sinc ethat league doesn't show scores until players are done with their games. So I often think I have a shot, when I'm actually getting beaten by 20.

3:20 - Sorry about that hour and a half delay, my little blogosphere. My girlfriend demanded that someone go with her to this new restaurant called The Grove, and when I suggested some names of her friends, she said "Don't tell me who to hang out with, I want to eat with you." It was really fun.

So here's what we missed:

Cleveland beats KC! I feel like a total genius. Its pretty rare that only ONE person in a pick 'em league picks a team to win, and they do. I have been saying all year that Cleveland is better than people think.

Washington loses to Atlanta. I feel like a total dumbass. Rookie QB, backup RB, and Vick finally had the cathartic "give the finger to the crowd moment" last week and now he feels like he's starting over. Atlanta wins.

Pack loses huge. That was a tough one to pick. I'm now 5 back in pick 'em, but I have lots of chances this afternoon to gain points.

Hartman MIA TB DAL
Me JAX PITT NYG

First of all, Hartman is good. He's in the 99% of our pick em league. But TB winning at PITT??? Tampa Bay is 3 plays away from being 0-11, they're probably the worst team in the NFL, winning at the Super Bowl champs who have had their manhood questioned for the last month? I am one of only two people in the league to pick the Giants. I think this is another case of people going with hype. Is Dallas really that much better than NYG? No. At the Meadowlands, in December. People often misinterpret when teams get after each other in the media. More often than not, teams bond over this stuff and play really well that week. See: Cleveland Browns.

Iowa State just lost to Drake 80-78. We shot a 3 pointer at the buzzer that was ruled no basket. I'm not really upset. We didn't deserve to win the game, and I have 100% confidence in G-Mac. This is a good game to have played now. We'll remember what this feels like when we play Missouri and Kansas.

Romer picked Buffalo to beat CHargers, I just learned, so that's another game gained on second place.

My fantasy team #1 snuck up and had a pretty awesome day. Ladell Betts, former Hawkeye, leads me to victory. Vomit. Torry Holt put down the walker and caught 100 yards. I think I'm pretty safe as far as not letting Corey beat me by 39 points, which is all that matters today. Donald Driver benefitted from this team's ultimate suckitude, and scored 10 points. So I'm at 98, and my defense hasn't played yet. Another pretty good effort. These kids got moxie!

I'm in a position where if Delhomme and Steve Smith have a big day in NCSA league, I may be able to pull off the huge #7 over #2 upset. Eddie's team is a juggernaut, but if Delhomme throws a long Td pass to Smith...both starters of mine...oh the Deuce could cry....which is sad...but not really.

Iowa State wrestles Iowa in 30 minutes. Two Olympic champion coaches going head to head. Cael > Brands. Go Clones.

3:34 - Let's look at this Justice League points race.

Mark is having an OK game, but not really the breakout effort he needs to have a chance to win. He's got Steve Smith, LJ Smith, the Panthers D and Joey Galloway left, and needs a boatload of points.

Sam has 76 with only Reggie Brown, Andre Johnson, and Josh Brown left to go. That's just not the effort you expect from the Spliffs in a knockout game.

Eddie has 69 with Fred Taylor, Eric Moulds and Jason Witten. None of these teams really seem to want it.

Does Pickar have a chance? Matty has 79 points with Delhomme, the Denver D and Brian Westbrook left to play. That is a very, very conceivable 60 points, which would mean as long as no one else scores over 100, Matty would be in. Wow.

Jared is putting up a really good week, but its not going to be enough to beat them all by 59. Unless Alexander scores 50 points.

3:53 - Did you hear? Cleveland beat Kansas City!

4:08 - If you want a laugh, feel free to track your Fantasy Cast and look at the pictures of all the guys from Oakland and Houston. And just picture them as that 40 year old guy that lives on your block that used to play football in junior college and you every now and then seem him running around the block, just knowing that if a gun were to his head, he thinks he could have made the NFL.

4:10 - How many days you think until TO makes some snide comment about Tony Romo, where the rookie finally loses a game, and they ask TO how he feels about it, and he gets that little half smile and says something like...what do you think I think? You saw the game. And basically rips his team organization and city apart for another 4 weeks. Romo just fumbled. O/U 2.5 weeks.

4:20 - Commisserating with the Deuce right now about the Chiefs disappointing loss. Deuce is a huge Chiefs fan; when I was growing up, I always pulled for them because they had ISU colors. One thing I really enjoy about my place in the world as a huge sports dork is that my buddies often call to either celebrate their team's victories or mourn their losses, even though I'm not a fan of that team. They know I'm paying attention on some level. I always feel bad when I have bet on a team to lose that one of my buddies is pulling for. Like, Deuce is really sad right now, and frustrated at the KC inability to blitz Charlie Frye, but I'm happy because the Browns made me look really, really smart. I'm such a softie.
For the record, I think KC will make the playoffs and me totally fine. I think they beat JAX, OAK and BAL and go 10-6.

4:26 - Here's a question I think that's worth pondering. If you were designing the ideal sports league, what would you throw in the mix. Let's say the sport doesn't matter to you at all. Because a lot of peoplpe think that the fact that underdogs win so often in the NFL makes it a great sport. But is almost random outcomes really that great? I mean, the prohibitive Super Bowl favorite just lost to the freakin Titans. (Who have by the way won 5 of their last 7.) Is this what we want in a league? Also, isn't it kind of amazing when you think about it that the best team in baseball in a given year wins 65% of their games, and the best team in football wins like 85%? It seems like favorites should win much more often in football, becaus ethe gap in final record between best and worst teams is so great. And in the NBA, you can pretty much just bet against the team coming off the longest road trip.

4:32 - Gonna have to give the slight edge to Sam now in the playoff hunt in D1. He's up to 80. I guarantee, whichever one of these teams looks the worst this week will play me and beat me.

4:42 - Cyclones losing to Hawks 6-0 in wrestling. According to Gooseman, on the Cyclones board, these were two matches we were supposed to lose, although in the first somehow the Hawk guy made a 3 point come back in the last 30 seconds, then the ISU bench got warned. Which I can only assume means someone looked at Cael and said "holy shit, don't let him hurt me."

4:51 - Let's say you're organizing a boy band for a pick up football game. Don't you think the Dallas Cowboy uniforms with the blue shoulder sleeves and the extremely gay white outlined stars would have to be at the top of the list?

4:52 - Wow, just when Eddie was starting to gain ground, the Raidesr give up a quick TD to the Texans. In the words of Bill Simmons, "Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 Oakland Raiders!"

4:56 - How awesome is the feeling when you realize there's another football game on that you actually care about. Its instant freedom from commercials for the rest of the game you care about. And then how bad is the feeling, in turn, when both games go to commercial at the same time?

5:07 - Typical G-Talk conversation, after Janikowski missed his second FG of the game (remember, the only game I bet on today)

Jared: How does Janikowski still have a job?
Me: I was just thinking that.
Jared: Is it legal to throw field goal attempts?
Me: Every time I see his face its either mug shot or a missed field goal.

5:13 - Haven't commented on the Titans/Colts game today. I'm usually the last person to make some asinine comment about some guy like: ______ is just a winner. But I honestly think no player to enter the NFL in the last few years is more worthy of the label than Vince Young. I'm not saying Titans to the Super Bowl any time soon. But Vince Young is just a winner. If you were lost in the jungle, and needed to count on one NFL QB to protect your family and get them to safety...could you honestly not pick Vince Young?

5:18 - This is really an exciting hour up ahead for the JL. The lowest scorer in the playoff hunt has the best chance to win: Eddie is down 5 to Sean, and probably needs to win the game to get in the playoffs, where he's probably one of the most dangerous teams. Sam is leading in scoring but has no chance of winning his game. And Jared keeps piling up the points in his Quixotic effort to beat everyone by 50.

5:23 - Did Sebastian Janikowski just miss his THIRD field goal of the game? These aren't 50 yarders I'm talking about. I think he' missed three within 40. This is ridiculous. Character counts.

5:34 - Cyclones are getting piss pounded in wrestling, 15-3, having lost three matches by 1 point in the last 20 seconds of the match. Damn it. Looks like Pittsburgh and Jacksonville have it wrapped up in their games. If the New York Giants can pull this out against Dallas, I will be within of the league lead. HUGE. $500 in my lap right now would feel like...about $500 dropping in my lap.

5:40 - I'm not saying it will happen, but Jared Macke is putting up a shit ton of points today and could actually make the playoffs. He's ahead of Sam by 41, Eddie by 50, Mark by about 100. He needs to beat eveyrone by 54, and he's still got th league MVP playing this evening. That would be phenomenal.

5:42 - CFN and ESPN reporting Florida will play Ohio State. Can't argue with it, can only argue with much of th efaulty reasoning. I wonder if people actually think Florida is better than Michigan, or are trying to manipulate a championship game. The BCS is a total disgrace to college sports.

5:44 - How can Eli Manning be so unbelievably bad in the clutch right now? Is it possible?

5:56 - The Giants have no chance to win this game. THey are about to be down 7 with 4 minutes left and Eli feeling the weight of the world. Its over.

Does anyone, anyone with a BRAIN still think the Bears are a Super Bowl team??? Their QB was 6-19 for 34 yards and -5 fantasy points today. And this is the best team in the NFC???

6:02 - This is what Fantasy does to your brain. Jared Macke is completely broken hearted because Pitt is kicking a FG instead of going for it on 4th down, which give Tampa the ball back and another chance to score on his defense. Keep in mind: this is a 17-0 game between two teams with 7 wins between them. Its like trying to being on crack, and trying to follow the stock market.

6:21 - I'm fully aware that the blogosphere has gone berzerk over this point...but how in the world can coaches, both NFL and college, still consistently be so bad at managing the clock. You're the Giants. You have the ball 1st down at the 15 yard line...time is NOT an issue. You could run 7 plays from there if you had to, which is the most you'd possibly get. You're facing a QB with a hot hand and, let's face it...you're unlucky. You must NOT stop the clock with a time out. I mean, if you have to do it late, with like 25 seconds left, just to make sure things don't get out of hand, go ahead and do it. But you can't take a timeout with a full minute left, then score on the next play. Its horrible.

6:32 - Well, I did pretty well on pick 'em today on the whole. I gained a game, and I've got to gain one game a week to catch up Hartman by season's end. It sure felt like I was doing better than that, though. Giants blowing it. Look back at that one when the season's over.

6:40 - OK, Seattle at Denver and Carolina at Philly are the only games left of the FFL season.

Here is where the playoff races stand:
#3 Seed:

Me 8-4 --- Seattle D
Corey 7-5 -6

I would have to lose to Matty and have the Seattle D score -6 points for me to not retain the #3 seed. Nice season, me. 9-4 after 4-9 last year. Congrats on the first round playoff exit.

#4 Seed:

Sam 5-7 ---- Reggie Brown, PHI, Josh Brown SEA
Eddie 5-7 -8.5 no players left
Mark 5-7 -57 Steve Smith, CAR, LJ Smith PHI, Panthers D

None of the three of these jokers is going to win today, so it only comes down to who scores the most points. If Mark can somehow come back to beat Brian, whom he trails by 63 right now, he would advance automatically.

#6 Seed:

Sam ---- R. Brown PHI, J. Brown SEA
Eddie -8.5 none
Jared -16 S. Alexander SEA
Matty -43 J. Delhomme CAR, B. Westbrook PHI, Broncos D
Mark -57 S. Smith CAR, LJ Smith PHI, Panthers D

Remember, throw out the winner of the #4 seed. JARED is actually looking like the favorite to get this spot right now, thanks to unreal performances across the board. Matty could pick up like 60 points with those three going, all in separate matchups. Mark is almost out of it. I just don't see him getting in.

6:57 - Another big chance to gain ground in pick 'em. I'm taking Seattle on the road at Denver, and I'm sure most people are taking Denver. Down by 31 in the NCSA league with Delhomme, the Carolina D and Steve Smith taking on Darrell Jackson.

7:18 - You know when you realize you've been having so much fun you've forgotten to bathe? Yeah.

7:58 - Well, its Florida vs. Ohio State. I have no idea if Florida is better than Michigan. The absence of a playoff system is a complete disgrace to college football. And don't give me the "Every game is a playoff" argument. Its ridiculous. Florida lost to Auburn. That wasn't a playoff, I guess, was it? All those idiots saying that if Michigan went to the National Title game, that would make the first UM vs. OSU not mean anything? Doesn't the same thing apply to Florida vs. Auburn? That sure didn't mean a damn thing, now did it?

The only reasonable answer is this: A 4 or 8 team playoff. Here's what you do: 8 team playoff. First round games are at campus sites in the middle of December. That way...every game still is insanely important, because you're playing for home field advantage. First round losers can comprise two of the BCS Bowl games. Final four can comprise the other two, and the winners of those two play in the national title. Sure, on the odd numbered years, there would be less interest in two of the bowls. But on the even numbered years, interest would be so ridiculously high, it would compensate. Bowls win, players win, NCAA wins, fairness wins. What's so hard about that?

8:03 - Hartman picked Denver! Hartman picked Denver! If I win, I'm within 3 with 4 weeks to play. That is definitely a distance I can close. 5 with 4 left, I'm gonna have to get desperate, espcially since its going to be rare to find as many toss up games as this weekend.

8:27 - HAHAHAHA. Man. I love QB carousels. First of all - fans for almost every pro team in almost every pro city are absolutely, completely insane. They hvae no appreciation for developing players over a long period of time. They don't look at long run results at all. When a guy wins one game, he's a savior, if he does one retarded thing, he should be fired. The Denver QB situation is absolutely hysterical. Jake Plummer is your QB. You're 7-4 with him at QB, he took you to the AFC Title game last year, your D is prpobably the #1 or #2 in the league, and you have a bruising running game, and one of the best coaches in football. Why, oh why do you change QBs in the middle of a play off drive? And we're not talking about going to a grizzed vet like Brad Johnson here, we're talking about a rookie named Jay Cutler, who is a great talent, but has never QBed a winning team, never QBed a bowl game, never QBed an NFL game, with 5 games left in a playoff drive. And guess what? 80,000 fans in Denver just leaned to their buddy and said: this kid stinks, bring back Plummer.

9:06 - You know what the worst part about all this BCS stuff is? Everyone that thought Florida deserved to pass Michigan is going to go on the airwaves and say "The BCS got it right!" to support their choice. Which is kind of like saying the lottery got it right when they draw your ball.

9:12 - What do you think Jake Plummer's doing right now? The Denver O has thrown one pick, Cutler's fumbled once, and Bell fumbled once. I'm gonna bet he's making that same face Jim on The Office makes when he looks right at the camera while someone else is making an ass of themself...kind of curls his mouth up and shrugs.

9:56 - Sorry. I got wrapped up in this football game. I feel like its the first football I've watched today. Isn't that weird?

10:00 - Oh, fate, you are a tempestuous mistress!! Darrell Jackson being ruled down inside the 1 yard line gives me a lead in pick 'em, keeps Eddie out of the endzone in the NCSA league all in one spot of the ball. Luck and fortune, I bow to thee!

10:05 - Boy, that Jay Cutler looks great. Look at him out there. Big, heavy, strong arm. Good understanding of football. 9-19 72 yards, 1 TD, 2 INt, 1 fumble

10:14 - I'm getting giddy just to watch this Cutler thing unfold. What are the Broncos fans going to do? Defend him? Say "its the best thing for the future"? What can you possibly say when you beg for someone for a year and then he completely, unabashedly stinks on Sunday Night Football?

10:15 - Oh, thank God. They just showed Plummer. And I'll be damned if he doesn't look as confident as I've ever seen him. I think I saw a little swagger inside that mountain man! Is Plummer the world's biggest "I Told You So" candidate in sports right now?

10:19 - Long TD for Denver. Only John Madden would sing the praises of the QB after he throws a screen pass to a wide open WR, the WR breaks like 5 tackles and runs 60 yards after the catch. Which brings up another point. How surprised would you be if someone told you that John Madden hadn't actually been alive since Madden 99? Will we ever reach an era in sports when artificially intelligent voices that perform on video games are hired to do play by play on NBC instead of the other way around? I just giggled at the thought of John Madden being artificially intelligent.

10:24 - Over/under on time until someone says "The NFL over time rules are fine, because if the defense does their job, you get the ball back." Have you ever worked at an office or for an organization where everyone thought it was fair that you did your job before they had to do theirs? Remember how much that sucked. The NFL overtime policy, folks.

10:28 - How hard can it be to not be a shitty announcer? If you dont' have something smart to say, shut the fuck up.

10:33 - Is there an equation for cold vs. elevation affects FG kick distance?

10:36 - OK, here's the run down on the JL

#3 seed: Me
#5 seed: Corey

#4 seed:
Sam ---- Reggie Brown, PHI
Mark -71 Steve Smith CAR, LJ Smith PHI, Carolina D

Mark's got a very, very small chance to advance here. If LJ Smith scores a lot, the Carolina D suffers. So he's gonna have to basically get like a 45 point performance from Steve Smith.

#6 seed:

Jared ---- none
Matty -35 Jake Delhomme CAR, Westbrook PHI
Mark -56 Smith, LJ, Panthers D

Unreal performance from Jared today. Unreal. 54 points down to start the day and, in all fairness, benefitting from all his competition really sucking...he's in a position to do it. And also, if Steve Smith has a big day, Delhomme is going to have one too, almost crushing Mark's chances. I'd say he's got a better chance to win the division than to win this game.


JL Playoff Pairings

1 - Stojak
BYE

4 - Sam/Mark
5 - Corey

3 - Me
6 - Jared/Matty/Mark

2 - Sean
BYE