October 26 - I learned two things Thursday night that had somehow slipped under my radar; Bobby Cremins is coaching college basketball again, and the Pi Kappa Alphas at
There was no scolding or disgruntled chanting at John Kresse Arena on the Charleston campus Thursday night, or if there was, it was overshadowed by the smell of popcorn in an old gym, dozens of really pretty Pi Theta Alphas, a too-tall, snow haired basketball wizard who looked positively bewildered that he’d found himself in the middle of all this, again.
When Cremins left Georgia Tech in 2000, after 14 winning seasons and as many postseason appearances, he called it “retirement.” Overshadowed by the ACC contemporaries Dean Smith and Mike Krzyzewski, the rebuilding job Cremins led at Georgia Tech was extraordinary.
Taking over a 4-23 team in the spring of 1981, Cremins (hair already white) was competing not only with the basketball powers of the southeast, but with history. Tech had stunk, and they’d stunk for a long time. But by the end of Cremins’ fourth year at the helm, he was coaching a squad that won 27 games, the ACC regular season and tournament title, and a spot in the NCAA tournament’s Elite Eight. And all of this would have shocked you, if you hadn’t the first page of the man’s bio:
College Position: three year Point Guard, teams went 61-17 under his leadership
College Degrees: Marketing, Guidance and Counseling.
An architect on the court, and an emotional counselor off it, and he knows how to sell. Could you even come up with a better coaching pedigree?
And then just when most college coaches are finding their stride, Cremins, at 52, walked away from Georgia Tech and the big time altogether.
During Cremins’ six year layoff from college basketball, this year’s class of Pi Kappa Alphas was in high school, picking a university, and probably just on the verge of plotting their career in collegiate chicanery. See, Maroon Madness, as this evening is called, isn’t just about basketball. In addition to providing the students a first look at their Cougars, they’re also engaging in one of the most overdone, hackneyed, clichéd, and utterly awesome staples of fraternity/sorority life.
The Skit Competition.
The Skit Competition goes like this: The Greek Council decides on a theme. (“Music Videos.”) Then each house spends months concocting the biggest, baddest blend of; A. horribly pathetic dance moves, B. absolutely awesome dance moves, and C. dressing up as the other gender, that they can. Biggest, baddest blend wins. All of the other houses gather around, cheering on their friends, going berserk for their house, doing a lot of incomprehensible chants, and figuring out who they’re going to try to sleep with that semester. Its outstanding.
This year’s Skit Competition winners, hands down, has to be the mad geniuses from Pi Kappa Alpha. Here’s how it goes down: Eight Pikes dressed as girls, with huge water balloon fake boobs (check) come out gossiping. Then a dude walks by in a bunch of Citadel gear, hitting on the “girls” by doing some horribly pathetic dance moves (check). (Sidenote: Apparently it’s a big joke around here that the cadets from the Citadel are a bunch of d-bags, always coming downtown and bragging about their “platoon” for the
All of a sudden, you know something really cool is about to happen, because “Regulate” by Warren G starts blasting over the speakers. A huge, home made brown, papier mache jalopy/jeep rolls out to center court, and out pop: you guess it, about 10 Pi Kappa Alphas doing absolutely awesome dance moves to the Most Loved Rap School by Suburban White Kids of all time. (Check, check and check.) Madness ensues. Five minutes later, the badass Pikes from the jalopy are pulling down their pants, each revealing a separate sorority name on his underwear. A lookalike Bobby Cremins with spray painted snow white hair comes out and gets down badder than all of ‘em. It’s a phenomenally entertaining, explicitly collegiate, can’t-look-away riot.
I have to leave before the sorority portion of the event, which absolutely kills me, given that the Pi Theta Alpha skit has something to do with three really sexy Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz look alikes doing absolutely awesome dance moves with her sorority sisters and the hottest Toto costume you’ve ever seen. If half the Pikes don’t wake up Friday morning in the Pi Theta Alpha house, there is no justice in this world.
Long forgotten by this point is an entertaining scrimmage by the Cougs, which the Maroon team wins 31-12, paced by All So-Con First Teamer Dontaye Draper and his 13 points.
Cremins spends both the game and the entire Skit Competition with about the same look on his face: its about half excited focus, half trying to figure out exactly what in the hell he’s watching, and just a pinch of “I’m the luckiest guy on the planet.”
After the game, I asked him what it was like to be coaching again, and if the evening was everything he expected.
“Fabulous,” he repeated, “fabulous. They’ve been wonderful to us so far and I’m really surprised at the great reception we got tonight.”
When I asked him what to expect from his squad this year, he turned political, saying it was too early to guess, the team was still searching for a reliable 2 guard, and they just wanted to go out and compete. I guess that’s Cremins the Guidance Counselor, not Cremins the Marketer.
Hoops has been kind of a wasteland for me lately; the Cyclones have struggled for two years, and looked borderline disgraceful doing it. The NBA continues to bore me, and I haven’t made money in a March Madness pool since 2002. All of which means tonight was, unequivocally, a good thing.
When I left the Kresse Arena, the old coach was still standing there, gazing out on the arena, watching college kids be idiots, looking like he might stay there until they kicked him out.
Bobby Cremins is back, and so is college basketball.
